My own test - Whole 30

Everyone has struggles in their life. Each struggle is different for each person. My struggles are no different in that they are unique to me and no one else can bare them for me.

One of the greatest struggles in my life has been my self esteem. I never viewed myself as smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, popular enough etc. Growing up means a lot of things, including putting those things into perspective.

I'm very smart and pretty. I'm overweight. I have friends and acquaintances, I just have a had time with time management for building stronger relationships. Everything has been broken down in my mind, to doable tasks. Some more natural than others.

The one that I've tackled the hardest, the overweight part. Don't get me wrong I'm still overweight, but I decided to stop dwelling on what I couldn't control and start focusing on what I could, myself. In July 2011, I began the scariest thing of all, Crossfit. Crossfit wasn't scary for any other reason than in challenged yourself. It pushed you in ways you didn't think you could push yourself. It forces you to be humble. It forces you to face your biggest critic, yourself.

Crossfit has a way of breaking you down and building you up at the same time. Before I knew it, I wasn't only addicted, I was different. I was strong.

I may not have been able to do as many pull ups as I once could, or push up military style, but I was strong. The strength wasn't just in the weight I was lifting, but in the drive I had to push through the tough parts and finish. The mentality that the pain was just temporary. The positivity that everything was going to be ok.

I was physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger than I have ever been, because I was all three.

Crossfit and Paleo go together, as does the Whole 30 challenge.

I've challenged myself to the Whole 30 challenge.

 The Whole 30 is 30 days dairy, sugar, grain, soy, leguine, and alcohol free. I'm finishing day 5 now as I finish this blog and prepare for bed. It is easier in many ways than I thought it would be. Though it is difficult to think I can't have a drink when I want it because I want to relax.

When your outlet frustrates you, you find your second outlet, my second outlet isn't a choice until February 1st, so that isn't helping either, which is was the blogs are happening right now. I don't want to vent, so to speak, I want to focus on the positives in a way. It lowers my stress that way.

I challenge myself to finish this challenge. What happens after that is something I'll worry about then. I'm not thinking about February 1st and beyond. I'm thinking about tonight and tomorrow. Those are my focus points. Any more than that and the overwhelming "can I really do this" comes in and rattles my cage. I have "supportive" people doing that for me.

I see it as this. If I can make it the 30 days on this challenge, I can do anything. Not because it is food, or because it is Crossfit. Because it is taking away things I enjoy for good reasons and bring in the mind over matter situation mentality that a part of me knows is strong, but I have never really used for my own benefit before.

With day six coming, we shall see where it takes me.